I'm Thinking I May Actually Have to Give Birth

I went to the doctor's last Tuesday. She performed a cervix exam to see where the baby was sitting. Before I continue, let me just say that a cervix exam is totally NOT fun. If anything, it's painful because if the baby isn't sitting at station 0 or greater (1, 2, or 3 with 3 saying "Here's my head top... prepare for launch") the doctor has to ram his/her finger up into your baby path to feel babies head. So not only do you now feel cramps in your pelvis and lower back, but you also begin to feel that bicycle seat soreness outside of the hoo-ha area. I had to do everything in my power to not take a foot and kick my doctor in the chest. fussiness.... And then I began to wonder if Claire is going to have little pot holes in her head from all of these pokes and prods. She may come out looking like a crater head. Poor girl.

Anyway, once that part was over I was told that I was 1 centimeter dialated, 80% effaced, and baby was at -2 station. That's pretty good. My body and baby are preparing for the delivery. And then it hit me... I HAVE TO BIRTH THIS CHILD!!

In the back of my mind I knew that the day would come, but I guess I was really hoping to avoid it all together. Honestly, I wanted to get her out via teleportation to avoid any pushing, surgery and pain. The reality of it all is now starting to sink in and you know what, it's really freaking me out! I'm grateful for having a good support system in place and am SO SO HAPPY that I hired a doula. So in order to get through these next few weeks I'll keep the good thoughts that Claire knows where she wants to go and me and baby can work together on getting her out without complications. I guess if I can endure the pain felt after running my first full marathon (that was H.E.DOUBLE.HOCKY.STICKS) then maybe this won't be so bad... maybe... *teeth chatters*