That DOES NOT Tickle

I don't know what it is, but there have been several nights this past week (last night included) where Claire will not allow me to sleep on my side--right or left. As soon as I do, I get this obnoxious *BANG* *SLAM* *POW-POW-POW* beneath and directly into my rib cage. I know I'll wake up one morning and find a big black and blue on my left side (her preferred boxing area). That's the morning I'll be sure to take pictures of my pain only to show them to her when she's older and acting out -- evidence of the abuse I suffered when she was still playing house in my uterus.

So what do I do when I can't lay on my sides? I once again have to reprop all of my pillows so I can lie on my back. This is where I get to practice moving in slow motion so as not to wake up my man. After another 5 minutes of S.L.O.W. prep work, I'm down and then suddenly there's silence. Claire acts as if the previous 10 minutes had never occurred and she's all loving life because mamma is finally on her back!

Being a back sleeper, I normally don't mind sleeping this way, but sometimes my neck gets kinked from my snoogle and so I'd prefer to snuggle into my snoogle instead. Unfortunately, nights like last night then occur and I get maybe 3 hours of sleep. Now I don't care to hear that this is just preparation for the month or two where I'm nothing but a zombie milking machine... I'll deal with that when the time comes. For now, woman needs her sleep! And I will go about doing just that by spending an hour doing cardio at the gym. Oh what, are you worried about Claire? Don't be. If anything, we should be worried since I'm sure we'll have to modify her swing to go even faster so it feels like she's back in the womb again. The price for housing in a neurotic mamma with an absolute need to be on the go-go-GO!