Pregnancy Firsts

Friday Cravings
Around 4pm last Friday, I received an email from an ex-coworker and fellow Thespian.

"Christine, you must come audition for our winter production. There has been very little turnout you'd be perfect for the lead." I explained to him that I was pregnant and would be 24 weeks along when the show opens. "They can find clothes to hide that.". Hmmmm.. Somehow, come 24 weeks, I can't see a simple empire dress hiding a belly the size of 2 bowling balls. And even if it could, the character I was auditioning for is 16, innocent and callow. If the audience could see a belly protruding, the innocence of the character would be completely lost.

Being that I haven't auditioned in a while and it would be great to see a few friends, I decided to take the plunge. Two hours later, the auditions are over and everyone is on their way. Someone mentions how a few of them would be at the Silver Diner and suddenly a field of lights went off in my mind, illuminating a 20 story billboard that said "French. Fries.". I think I may have gleeked at this point.

On the ride home, I was talking with my friend about our Saturday night plans. Yet, in the back of my mind I could only think about french fries and my overwhelming desire to have them. Now. The conversation with my friend ends and a new one begins... with myself. I can't eat french fries. I haven't had them in years. They're horrible for me and the baby. But OH. MY. GOD. They sound so good. *drool* *gleek*. OK.. so If I do get said fries, where would I get them from? McDonalds? Uh-uh.. It's been decades since I've been to one and they're way to greasy. Burger King? Where is there a Burger King? But wait. I think Casey had told me that their fries weren't all that great. What about Wendy's? Oooo.. my fall back fast food joint.

I'm not only 20 feet from my exit and I decide to keep driving so I could get off at the next exit where there sits a Wendy's. I caved. And caved hard. Not only did I come out with a medium fries, but also a 5-piece chicken nugget and small chocolate frosty with m&m's mixed in. Wow. That tasted oh. so. good.

Tuesday Blues
Now it's 4 days later. For most of the day I had been dealing with gas pains. Not the mini-just-need-to-walk-it-off gas pains, but the debilitating kind that literally weigh you down and it's only comfortable to keep your body in one position. They started about 11:30am and continued to worsen, until about 5:30 I had to leave work and head home.

Getting out of the car was the hardest thing I could have possibly done. I felt like my nana. Had to sway a bit back and forth and force the weight of the gas over my feet, propelling me into an upright position. grrrrr.. I waddled into the house and headed directly for the medicine cabinet. Gas-Ex. My best friend. But wait. I can't remember whether I could take it during pregnancy. So I began to google it and found nothing. Seriously, nothing! Come on google. Desperate pregnant woman needs relief and all you can throw back are adverts for gas-ex and pregnancy?

Finally I decided to bite the bullet and took the meds, then headed directly to bed to read. 15 minutes later, the man came home with the dog. "Are you hungry?". Oooo.. am I. And I want tuna. I haven't had tuna in 4 months (even before being pregnant) and I want tuna. But my stomach is KILLING me. But I want tuna. But I'm told you can't have tuna b/c of the mercury. Damn "they".

"Do you want me to order you a sub?" No. I don't want to spend any money. "Do you want me to make you a tuna sandwich?" No. I'm not sure if I should eat, but I know I should. 10 indecisive minutes later I decided to make some tuna. But there's only a 3oz can left and I wanted a 6 oz can. Oh no. Seriously? Am I getting irrational about the quantity of tuna in the house? Yes I am. I feel myself starting to hyperventilate a bit. "I'm about to cry over this situation, so I'm heading to bed."

And then I cried for what seemed like eternity. But over what? Tuna? Really? Am I crying over tuna? I must have been because I could not think of why I would be crying at all. At one point Casey comes in and starts laughing at the situation, which got me laughing, which lead to my crying harder. How ridiculous is all of this? I'm crying over tuna. Oh hell no.

Two words kept flashing in my mind: Hormones Suck.

And to think, this is only the beginning.